A New Way to Baby Shower

Reimagining the Baby Shower through
Postpartum Prep

the baby shower

We have a tradition in our culture where we gather all of the important women in our lives to eat cake, play games and shower a pregnant mother with baby gifts. Diapers, tiny clothes, bottles, expensive baby contraptions and so on.
You’ve probably been to one. Or ten.

It’s called a baby shower.

It's a sweet act of love to show up to one of these events, or to throw one for an expectant mother, and it’s only natural that we participate in a tradition that is a cultural expression of our collective support.

And yet, regardless of the intention or sentiment behind the event, we have to ask: is a baby shower truly resourcing a new mother for her transition into motherhood?

After asking countless mothers this question, they were grateful for the gathering, but the answer is no.
So, how can we utilize our cultural tradition of the baby shower to better prepare a new mother for this transition?

Think about it:

more often than not, the emphasis of a baby shower is on the baby.
More specifically outfitting the baby– cute onesies, burp clothes, tiny shoes, blankets, books, toys… the list goes on.
Perhaps our culture’s focus in this tradition is a bit misplaced.

This isn’t to say that baby doesn’t need some of these gifted items, but with the fourth trimester being such a massive rite of passage, there are better ways we could be funneling our resources.

Before we devote our time, money, resources, and community to gathering material goods for baby, shouldn’t we make sure that the mother-to-be is set up for a smooth transition into motherhood?

After all, the most valuable gift we can give a baby is a supported, thriving mother.

A new idea for baby showers

When we finally get the opportunity to gather with women, we should compile our shared knowledge, experience, wisdom, and resources to help prepare a mother-to-be for her postpartum phase.

If we don’t, isn’t it a waste of financial resources, wisdom, and time not to utilize one of few cultural traditions we currently have where we gather together and surround a new mother?

What if instead of having a baby shower and buying baby gifts for the baby, we reimagined this tradition as a way to truly resource mothers and families?

This could take shape in a wide variety of ways:
Everything from creating space for women and mothers to share their own postpartum experience and wisdom, to starting a postpartum wellness fund that people can contribute to go towards virtual or hands-on lactation support, postpartum doula support, warm nourishing food, loving space held for her, pelvic floor physical therapy, or a class or course that could further equip her for the journey ahead.

This could also be something as simple as everyone bringing a nourishing meal or two for the new parent’s freezer, creating even more space for the new mother to nourish herself and rest, or helping out with providing practical self-care items a new mother needs after birth. A comfy robe, gentle essential oils, non-toxic face and body items, tea or beverages that feel luxurious and also nourish her. I love the idea of having a cooking party in someone’s big kitchen where all your loved ones make food together and stock the mothers’ freezer to ensure she has nourishing food to eat after birth.

While there is nothing inherently wrong with devoting a baby shower to gifts for baby, contrary to what our culture might say, the most important thing that babies need is a well resourced, thriving mother.

On-Call Support & Other offerings

One of the roadblocks that often occurs in pregnancy and in preparing for the postpartum phase is the lack of awareness around what pregnancy and preparation for the postpartum period could look like.

Culturally, we do not have a model of what it looks like the thrive in the transition to motherhood, and we commonly mistake survival as being “good enough” or “normal.”

Not only is there a lack of education and resources regarding a woman’s transition into motherhood, there is also a gap in care.
Similarly to the way that baby showers focus on baby rather than mom, most doctors appointments throughout pregnancy are baby-oriented. Clearly, it is extremely important to check in on baby, but this often occurs at the mother’s expense.

Following today’s model, when a woman finds out she is pregnant, she typically has to wait 8-10 weeks before she is able to see a doctor in person. Once a new mom is finally able to see a doctor, her appointments typically revolve around checking to see how her baby is developing.
In most traditional settings, there is a clear lack of time and space for a new mother to bring questions and concerns to the table.

To help solve this gap in care and resources and to meet the many levels of care that a mother might need during pregnancy and postpartum, Earth Milk Moon has developed offerings at varying price points and different levels of care.
Each of our offerings was born out of a desire to help mothers feel supported, centered, resourced and empowered as they enter their journey into motherhood.

These offerings include courses like our Innate Postpartum Prep Course (closed to signups for now, but contact us to join our waitlist!), our On-Call Support packages, and our Postpartum Wellness Packages.

No woman should have to “wing” her pregnancy or postpartum journey, or feel like she is supposed to know how to navigate the transition into motherhood without tools, resources, and support.

Learn more about all of our offerings here.
They make great baby shower gifts!

Contact me if you need guidance on how to shift away from the baby shower and set a mother up for a more easeful, joyful transition into Motherhood.