Mothering the Mother & the Importance of Doula Support
It takes a village
We all know the phrase: it takes a village to raise our children.
Most of us are able to readily acknowledge that this saying has merit.
If you are a parent or have friends or family who are parents or are witnessing the maternal health crisis occurring in this country (all of us!), it is an easily recognizable truth that the nuclear family set-up we currently have is not working.
Here’s the truth of the matter:
Raising children is not supposed to be done alone, or even with two fully functional adults.
It really does take a village.
Unfortunately, in the US today there are significant obstacles in finding or creating a village.
First, there is the westernized idea of the contained nuclear family, which defines a family as beginning and ending with two parents and their children.
This paradigm is completely contradictory to the idea of a village, which extends past immediate family, and has been the family model throughout most of history.
On top of this, the US is the only industrialized nation that doesn’t provide paid family leave and is unsupportive of mothers and families on many levels (this topic is devastating, deep and for another blog posts, or perhaps a series of posts).
This leaves us needing to be creative with the resources that we do have when it comes to creating your own village.
The village is important and relevant not only in raising children, but regarding the Mother herself, as historically, it was the village that provided support not only to the new child, but also to the new mother.
What does that mean for mothers today, who simply do not have the support of a village to draw on as they enter the postpartum period?
What is a Doula?
Contrary to popular belief, a doula does not necessarily refer to a birth worker or support person for birth,
Rather, a doula is, “a companion that provides physical, emotional and educational support to another human through significant health related experiences throughout the birth, life and death continuum.”
Believe it or not, there are birth doulas, postpartum doulas, loss doulas, and death doulas.
Doulas not only serve as support to the person who is experiencing a major life/ health event, they also support that person’s partner and family through the life transitions that come with these events.
While there is training that a doula can undergo to receive certification, in my opinion the most supportive doulas are the ones who are deeply called to their work and have knowledge and experience on holding a gentle, loving space for those going through major life transitions.
Postpartum Doulas
A postpartum doula is someone who is able to specifically hold space for a Mother after giving birth.
This means coming into the Mother’s home and filling the gaps, tending to and supporting the Mother, which allows her and to rest, heal, bond with her baby, and learn to feed and care for a new human in her life. This support and rest also allows her the space to become a new version of herself.
A mothers nervous system responds to the physical presence of social support. Our physiologic design is to be in spaces with other humans especially during vulnerable times of our life. When we are alone during vulnerable times, our bodies are in a constant stress response. Studies show that isolation and loneliness lead to dis-ease, dysfunction and early death. In the postpartum period this means that if we are left alone with a newborn baby, our energy is going to our stress response instead of healing, making milk, bonding and resting. Support is the foundation to postpartum wellness and healing so having a doula who you feel comfortable and safe with can be the difference between dis-ease and wellness for a new mother.
Earth Milk Moon is built of a team of herbalists, doulas, lactation consultant, cooks, alchemists, birth workers, foragers, nurse, and wise women.
We make postpartum medicine by cooking warm, nourishing food and bringing it to mom while she rests with her baby.
We wash blood, tears and sweat off of sheets as the mother transitions into a new way of being.
We hold space and listen to birth stories and all the stories and feelings that arise during birth, postpartum, sleeplessness and the constants of raising a baby.
We lead parents and babies back to their intuition when the programming of our culture has led them away.
We Mother the Mother so that she feels nourished, healed, and empowered to be the leader of her family.
the impact of mothering the mother
I believe that for every mother that receives nourishing, in-home postpartum care, many many more mothers will be held thereafter.
When a woman and mother is truly held and nourished in the postpartum time, she will then know in her bones how to nourish another mother when she has the opportunity.
I find that the generations before us, who were not held the way they deserved in the postpartum period, don’t know how to care for their daughters, sisters, or friends when they have babies.
We learn by witnessing and feeling.
One of the best gifts we can give our children is to allow ourselves and prioritize being held during sacred times, allow ourselves to rest and be nourished.
Your children are watching, and they will remember.
If you are expecting a baby, wanting a more joyful postpartum experience this time around or simply want nourishing postpartum support, we offer a postpartum preparation course, and comprehensive postpartum packages.
If you have questions or would like to learn more please schedule a Free 15 min call with Krista.